Learning To Grow From Past Relationships

Learning To Grow From Past Relationships

Past Relationships Help Us To Grow

If I am a sapling today, what will I be tomorrow or when I draw my last breath?

  1. What does “learning to grow in a relationship mean”?
  2. Do I grow from past relationships?
  3. Do I make meaningful strides to improve myself both during and after the relationship ends?
  4. Do I take lessons learned and apply them to my life to improve?
  5. Do I become more aware and create a better version of myself?

I have always believed that in this life journey, we are in constant development and constant preparation. Life is a journey of personal growth regardless of who we choose to bring into our lives. In those moments between past relationships, we have the chance to reflect, discard unwanted baggage and embrace our full potential. Each relationship that you experience is relevant so we should always be learning to grow in a relationship. While not every relationship will last forever, each is an opportunity to learn, grow and improve.

I do not mean to minimize the value of past relationships, even if they were significant, like a deep love or long-term marriage. For one reason or another, however, that relationship ended. Either you or the other was not ready to be in the relationship as it had been defined. That does not mean that you did not share powerful and memorable experiences, and even experience a love that will live in your heart forever. Yet, the relationship ended. Do the question still stands: did you grow in a relationship?

It is healthy to think fondly of your past relationships and embrace those qualities that sustained your lives together, because each relationship has brilliant moments.  Of equal importance, I do not look at the ending of the relationship as a failure but as a learning opportunity for growth. If one can get beyond the immediate pain and brokenness of the ending, there are certainly valuable lessons to be learned. One of the partners either was not ready to be or was not ready to stay in the relationship at that moment. It is not wrong to take the approach that was each new relationship we grow and learn and prepare ourselves for the next great thing. One door always opens when another door closes.

This is part of the optimism of living the single life: the door was shut for a purpose, and it is up to us to find both the reason and the meaning behind the ending.


  1. Do you believe there is purpose to the ending of your previous relationship?

  2. Regardless of how the past relationship ended, did you walk away with some learning point that made you better?

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